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gloria gaynor remix: male version

First I was afraid I was petrified
At the ugly slapper that was lying by my side
I would’ve drunk a little less,
I would’ve tried to keep my head.
If I’d known for just one second you’d
Assault me in your bed.

I tried to go, walk out the door
But you’ve been sitting on my legs and
I Can’t feel them anymore
And now you’re sitting on my face,
my nose has vanished – not a trace,
I only hope that you’re big knickers aren’t
Made of liquorice lace

I want to go, I’ve got to leave
Before your fat and naked body makes me want to heave
Only hope that no one saw me walking home
With such a slut.
God the things that you get up to
when you’re half cut.

Please let me go, I’m getting scared
There’s nothing I can do to stop those ugly
Breasts from being bared.
I think that I must have been mad, God what
Made me want to court her?
With tits that look like Tesco bags I’ve just
Filled up with water

It’s time to go, run out the door
She’s started hinting she wants sex on her
Dirty lino floor
I don’t think there’s anything worse
Than the al-co-hol-ics curse.